The Myth of Having It All Together

“You just seem like you have it all together.”

The words landed as a compliment, but they felt like a weight. I smiled politely, nodded, and muttered something vague in return. Inside, I wanted to laugh. If only they could see the piles of laundry at home, the unanswered texts, the journal pages scrawled with doubts. If only they knew how often I lay awake at night, questioning whether I was doing enough, being enough, leading enough.

On the surface, maybe I looked polished. My calendar was full, my LinkedIn profile tidy, my words measured. But beneath that layer, I was messy, human, unfinished.

That is the trouble with “having it all together.” It is a myth that looks beautiful from the outside but suffocates on the inside. It pushes us toward appearances instead of authenticity. It robs us of the very connection we are hungry for.

The Polished Surface

The world rewards a polished surface. We know this. We curate our Instagram feeds. We tailor our résumés. We write bios that emphasize the highlight reel.

I have been praised for being steady, for looking calm even when things are chaotic. I have heard people say they admire how I balance so many responsibilities and still show up composed. And yes, I know how to perform composure. I know how to…